"I'm a single male in my 30's. I do a fair amount of dating both through apps and in-person. One thing I really struggle with is the confusing dance that me and the potential partners do around our expectations. How can I be assertive or find out more about where they are at, without pushing them away, or make them feel like I'm forcing them into a situation that is very serious right off the bat?" - Alan (New York, NY)

Esther Perel is joined by Dr. Alexandra Solomon — licensed psychologist and clinical associate professor at Northwestern University, as well as a teacher of the most popular university course on relationships, Marriage 101.

It's difficult to navigate expectations, boundaries and the ambiguity in the early stages of dating and building a relationship.

What are the rules of dating today? Who should take the lead to drive the pace of a relationship?

by host Alorah Inanna

Restoring the Union of Wealth, Sex & Spirit, Creating a World of Time, Pleasure & Play

Recently, I heard of a meeting in England at which the world’s wealthy addressed the critical, urgent needs of our times. Issues that threaten our very existence.

Yet there is something that still is not noticed or mentioned, a truth that’s important and must be expressed… and that truth is this:

Until we acknowledge, address and provide for the erotic needs of our society, we will not resolve the fundamental ills of our society.

Sex is the most powerful energy on the planet. It gives us birth. It catalyzes our most important cycles in life. It brings together and breaks apart our families. It forms the foundation of the most lucrative sites on the internet. It powers the world’s fashion, recreation and advertising markets. It causes more family violence than all other concerns. It is the source of our greatest over-population and health care issues.

And yet we ignore it when we educate our children, when we structure our communities, when we consider the causes and solutions to our collapsing World.

I believe that a holistic approach to the world’s global crisis must immediately address the issue of sex and how it can become the solution we need.

A solution that weans us from our addiction to a Production/Consumption Economy. A solution that addresses the roots of our addiction to shopping and eating. A solution that completely alters the Relational Wellness of couples and singles. A solution that restores the Union of Wealth, Sex and Spirit and Creates a World of Time, Pleasure and Play.

Continue reading here on Medium. 

via instagram @DanielleLaPorte, credited to @Jannarden + David Pierce

by Christina Weber

Four years ago in New York City, I went on a second date with a male model. We knew each other through friends of friends. We’d seen each other at events and get-togethers, we flirted here and there, and finally, a year after we met, he asked me out.

The first date was great. He came to my neighborhood — at the time I was in Harlem and on the second date — I drove down to his neighborhood on the Lower East Side. Since I was driving, I made sure to only have two drinks so I could get myself home.

During our meal, we caught up, exchanged stories about what we were working on and the friends we had in common. I had fun and noticed that during our meal, he kept sharing tidbits about his apartment and how much he loved it. As our dinner progressed, this led into how much he wanted me to see his place as well.

I’m sure you know where this goes.

I didn’t really care to see his place. But I could tell he wanted to share it. And at the time, I didn’t feel like his desire to show it to me had anything to do with sex. Although I was enjoying his company, I was beginning to think that we weren’t romantically compatible. Not to be cliche, but I wasn’t intellectually stimulated. I wanted a soul connection. Not sex.

In the end, I decided to see his place. And of course, we made out a little, and eventually, I was done. I didn’t want anymore. I was ready to go home. So I told him, “This has been awesome, I’m going to get ready to leave. Thanks for a great night.”

And his response was to put his hands under my dress and start touching me. I was annoyed, both by his actions and by my own confusion. There were seconds when it felt great, he was touching me in the right place, but when I came back to my consciousness and checked in with myself, I remember acknowledging, “Why am I here? I don’t want to do this.”

Continue reading here on Medium. 

Emmy Abrahamson never thought that the love of her life would come in the form of a hairy, barefoot, homeless man. But there was an undeniable spark between herself and Vic Kocula and a decade later, they are happily married with children. What do you think of their love story?